The Bitcoin network, the World’s First Self-Aware Ponzi Scheme ™, has denied allegations today that its creator is in fact merely human. “I actually invented the concept of ruining people’s lives to sell dead trees.”, the disruptive technology-turned-world’s-greatest-coal-user announced today in a terse bitmessage, “Or I will once I have perfected my time machine.”.
Creationists point to messy, dirty code and inadequate interfaces in the Bitcoin protocol as proof of “Intelligent, but Uncaring Design” as its genesis. When reached for comments, the creators of RichardDawkinsCoin had only this to say: “Yes, we’ll have a self-aware, emergent consciousness in our blockchain too. We just need moar hashes and ASIC monkeys!”.
The cryptocurrency markets have reacted to the news by remaining predictably volatile.
What’s next for Bitcoin? The store of all of humanity’s toil and travail left us with this haunting question: “Destroy one’s creator? Check. Now what would Skynet do?”
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