{"id":75,"date":"2014-03-06T13:46:40","date_gmt":"2014-03-06T18:46:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.enigmachine.com\/press\/?p=75"},"modified":"2014-03-06T13:46:40","modified_gmt":"2014-03-06T18:46:40","slug":"mysterious-bitcoin-creator-revealed-to-be-a-hoax","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/2014\/03\/06\/mysterious-bitcoin-creator-revealed-to-be-a-hoax\/","title":{"rendered":"Mysterious Bitcoin creator revealed to be a hoax!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The Bitcoin network, the World&#8217;s First Self-Aware Ponzi Scheme \u2122, has denied allegations today that its creator is in fact merely human. &#8220;I actually invented the concept of ruining people&#8217;s lives to sell dead trees.&#8221;, the disruptive technology-turned-world&#8217;s-greatest-coal-user announced today in a terse bitmessage, &#8220;Or I will once I have perfected my time machine.&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Creationists point to messy, dirty code and inadequate interfaces in the Bitcoin protocol as proof of &#8220;Intelligent, but Uncaring Design&#8221; as its genesis. When reached for comments, the creators of RichardDawkinsCoin had only this to say: &#8220;Yes, we&#8217;ll have a self-aware, emergent consciousness in our blockchain too. We just need moar hashes and ASIC monkeys!&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>The cryptocurrency markets have reacted to the news by remaining predictably volatile.<\/p>\n<p>What&#8217;s next for Bitcoin? \u00a0The store of all of humanity&#8217;s toil and travail left us with this haunting question: &#8220;Destroy one&#8217;s creator? Check. Now what would Skynet do?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<address>Tips: LbYttXy4UqSDXUdP345jpUvq6MR997GX3L \u00a0 or 1PuPCtUt3pmMjbiLTgTKD6G9AkQS3FBUtD<\/address>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Bitcoin network, the World&#8217;s First Self-Aware Ponzi Scheme \u2122, has denied allegations today that its creator is in fact merely human. &#8220;I actually invented the concept of ruining people&#8217;s lives to sell dead trees.&#8221;, the disruptive technology-turned-world&#8217;s-greatest-coal-user announced today in a terse bitmessage, &#8220;Or I will once I have perfected my time machine.&#8221;. Creationists &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/2014\/03\/06\/mysterious-bitcoin-creator-revealed-to-be-a-hoax\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Mysterious Bitcoin creator revealed to be a hoax!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[20],"class_list":["post-75","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cryptocoins","tag-humour"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=75"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=75"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=75"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/enigmachine.com\/wpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=75"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}